And he didn't even fall in the water!

Brandon wanted to me to tell about my sandwich. We had brought food since it was a picnic outing. Jeremy wanted to sit at a table but we vetoed that idea, saying that an outing is when you sit on a blanket on the ground. I was then given the command of where we were going to sit. I found a nice shade tree near the pond. We spread the blanket out and sat down ready to eat. I opened my sandwich to spread mustard on the bun when splat! Sure enough, my sandwich had been targeted and there was a lovely puddle of bird droppings on my lettuce. After making a little fuss, I tore the lettuce off my sandwich (thankful it hadn't touched anything else). Brandon started freaking out about sitting under the tree with a flock of birds aiming for us. He attempted to cover his food and tried to insist that we move. Then Jeremy and Brandon had the bright idea to find sticks or rocks and throw them at the birds in attempt to make them go away and proceeded to launch things at the branch above my head. A nearby fisherman came very close to becoming a casualty. In the mean time, I am calmly eating my sandwich sans lettuce. Next time, I'm bringing an umbrella.